HOLIDAY, INTERVIEWS AND MESS

I'm going on holiday... I need it!!. I don't sleep at all lately... The interviews I've had in the last two weeks and the mess with L are getting on my nerves.
The Egyptian Prince connects to the messenger a lot lately. Makes me nervous to know that he's out there... online... To know that I can talk to him... just like that... but I was kind of pissed after our last conversation. He keeps on telling me the same crap, again and again... Besides he never says goodbye and I find that particularly annoying, so I have decided not to start a conversation again.
Actually, L. has made me understand what is to be really interested in somebody... no matter the distance or the cultural differences. So, let's say that I'm using L. to forget the Egyptian Prince, and I don't know what will be the end of this story.
So, I was peacefully working at home this mornig when the Egyptian Prince turned up and this is what followed:

Egyptian Prince: hellllooo
Spanish Moza: how r u?
Egyptian Prince: i am ok thanks
Egyptian Prince: how is life in the office
Spanish Moza: cool.... im on holiday!!!
Egyptian Prince: wowwwwww
Egyptian Prince: where?
Egyptian Prince: xxx (a place where we were supposed to have met last summer... long story)
Spanish Moza: actually im making interviews like theres no tomorrow but aparently nobody wants me
Spanish Moza: no, im not going to XXX... maybe in july
Egyptian Prince: i want you
Spanish Moza: dont b silly
Egyptian Prince: :)
Spanish Moza: im going to andalucia
Egyptian Prince: i am silly (He's not exactly silly, he's just a jerk)
Spanish Moza: to the beach in the south of spain
Egyptian Prince: very :)
Spanish Moza: lol
Egyptian Prince: wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Egyptian Prince: wish to be there with u
Spanish Moza: its easy
Spanish Moza: take a plane and come
Spanish Moza: :P
Egyptian Prince: what if i come
Egyptian Prince: what r we going to do ? :)
Spanish Moza: go to the beach
Spanish Moza: and enjoy andalucia... i'm sure you'd like it
Egyptian Prince: just that ?
Spanish Moza: just that
Egyptian Prince: only beach and enjoying andalucia?
Spanish Moza: only
Egyptian Prince: ouuuuuuuh
Egyptian Prince: am i punished or something ? ;)
Spanish Moza: sort of
Egyptian Prince: what shall i do to release this punishment ?
Spanish Moza: you already know what you got to do
Spanish Moza: :P
Egyptian Prince:wana hear it from you :)
Spanish Moza: cmon
.........no answer for the time being....

I know that I'm hooked on this guy, but I'm not that dumb. I understand that he sees me the way my egyptian blogger friends told me he would see me. Just an easy european chick. And this really upsets me. I don't know if there's a way to change that but I'm afraid there isn't, and this makes me feel so depressed. I'm sure he's never believed a word of what I've told him about my feelings. And it was all true!!!. Is there a way I could make him see how wrong he is???. Any suggestions????

Here we go again

I think I’ve screwed it up.
I knew that he was going to be there, and I have to admit that I liked the idea…I was curious about him ever since I first saw him in Madrid. And I needed to drive my mind away from the Egyptian Prince. I wanted to get rid of the feeling he provokes me. He’s made my self-esteem lower than ever. The feeling of being rejected, always begging for his attention and feeling ignored most of the time. Always alert... trying to contact him and waiting to be turned down. I needed reassurance. I just wanted to play you know.... play with somebody the way the Egyptian Prince had been playing with me. But I’ve gone too far now.... I’ve lied to him and now I’ve realized that noboy deserves to pay for what other’s have done. He’s not a jerk... he’s sweet and I’m so ashamed of my behaviour. He’s showing me he’s got real interest, and actually I find that I care for him more than I expected to care. But I know my boundaries, and even though I’m not sure about how will I end up with R, I’m not that bitch. I don’t deserve none of them and the Prince does not deserve me. But that’s the way it works.

On my way

No time to write, and a lot of things to tell.

- Big row with mum in the family weekend. Mum deserves her own post.

- Several SMSs with the Egyptian prince discussing the football match Spain-Egypt (at least he's still there, I haven't dreamt it all)

- On my way to the airport for a 12 hour trip

-Nervous

- Really nervous