BOREDOM AND APATHY
I’m bored. Bored of my boredom. Bored of my own complains. Bored of myself.
I’m so apathetic that I’m afraid this will never end. I dindn’t feel like writing either.
I’m so low today.
At last I’ve finished the book I was reading, that didn’t cheer me up, by the way. It’s “Les particules élémentaires” from Michel Houellebecq. I don’t know if this happens to everybody but when I’m reading a book I always bring the characters and the situations with me all day. It affects my mood a lot, actually. This book it’s so depressing, so hopeless, so harsh.. that it will take a while till I get over it.
I have this worrying lack of interest. I’m not interested in anything. At all. I have to force myself even to read the newspaper lately. And it’s been a while since I don’t read the economic papers. They used to interest me.
The days pass by and I have not even updated my resume. How I’m going to find a new job if I don’t really look for a job???. I have a sort of mental block. I know what I don’t like in my life. I know what I have to do to change the things that I don’t like. But I don’t do anything. I’m blocked because I don’t know which way to take. It’s really annoying, and I’ve been like that for months.
I’m not even interested in planning a route and find a hotel for my next holydays, and I’m leaving next week. I only have booked the flight!!!.
I’m thinking about the prince all the time. No news up to now. I’m trying really hard to stop myself from sending a silly sms. He just doesn’t deserve all this mess.
I don’t want to think at my relationship. At least not while I’m in this mood. Ten years with him is a lot of time. Is my whole life. Do I want the rest of my life to go on like this??, I don’t want to answer to this question because I’m afraid I wouldn’t like the answer. I think I’m going to sleep at mom’s tonight.
I’m so apathetic that I’m afraid this will never end. I dindn’t feel like writing either.
I’m so low today.
At last I’ve finished the book I was reading, that didn’t cheer me up, by the way. It’s “Les particules élémentaires” from Michel Houellebecq. I don’t know if this happens to everybody but when I’m reading a book I always bring the characters and the situations with me all day. It affects my mood a lot, actually. This book it’s so depressing, so hopeless, so harsh.. that it will take a while till I get over it.
I have this worrying lack of interest. I’m not interested in anything. At all. I have to force myself even to read the newspaper lately. And it’s been a while since I don’t read the economic papers. They used to interest me.
The days pass by and I have not even updated my resume. How I’m going to find a new job if I don’t really look for a job???. I have a sort of mental block. I know what I don’t like in my life. I know what I have to do to change the things that I don’t like. But I don’t do anything. I’m blocked because I don’t know which way to take. It’s really annoying, and I’ve been like that for months.
I’m not even interested in planning a route and find a hotel for my next holydays, and I’m leaving next week. I only have booked the flight!!!.
I’m thinking about the prince all the time. No news up to now. I’m trying really hard to stop myself from sending a silly sms. He just doesn’t deserve all this mess.
I don’t want to think at my relationship. At least not while I’m in this mood. Ten years with him is a lot of time. Is my whole life. Do I want the rest of my life to go on like this??, I don’t want to answer to this question because I’m afraid I wouldn’t like the answer. I think I’m going to sleep at mom’s tonight.
posted by spanish_moza at 9:05 PM
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